.p.rae.lu.dium.

must be the unwillingness to study which lead me to type a few words here. there were always some time when i really wanted to blog about things which happened at that sudden moment. it was then when you started to type the first word that the mood to blog was flushed away. hence the low frequency of entries.

then you start to wonder how your fellow bloggers could come out with so many topics to blog about. life is so dull for me that even 'major' events such as chinese new year isn't worth my effort to blurt through the keyboard. there wasn't much celebrations this year, or should i rephrase by saying there was NO celebrations at all. it got worse year after year when relatives aren't really into the mood to get together, cousins being scattered all over the globe, and most importantly when the elders were gone.

bah! skip the pathetic topic, not that lamenting here would do any good to the situation. had been like that all the while.

didn't know why i am so carefree nowadays. nothing seemed to stir a frenzy or serious enough for me to mourn upon. i knew i had been taking things too seriously back then, but what i am not confident of is whether being too carefree now is a good turover. i took my class test so light heartedly that i rather spend more time mingling with my family and meeting friends throughout the one whole week holiday. time was supposed to be spent on BIOPHARMACY!! and yet, my module guide which i accidentally placed up-side-down came back to kl just the way it was when i brought it to ipoh. hahaha... "memPAISEHkan"

though i managed to finished studies on time, which was merely enough to pass  the test to me was still dreadful. knowing that i did not do first-class (not to the embarrasing level) in the test, i was still carefree enough to go for karaoke after that.

escaping? 

yes i am. i admit.

escaping from my study desk, escaping from home not wanting to see people i displeasured, escaping from those moments when you are alone trying to reconsider whether decisions made were right.

when you start to let go of something which you had placed hope on for years, it is then you realize things that you will take seriously before this aren't that important anymore.

so i am careless. pronounced it CARE-LESS