.p.rae.lu.dium.

so days are filled with constant gaming sessions on bejeweled, mousehunt, msn and repeated episodes of FRIENDS. it's like all of a sudden my study days are over, but yet, not qualified to start a job-hunt. hadn't been updating my blog, had no mood to (considering the 'happening' ways i live my days)


just settled much of the hassles last week, be it the visa application or some not-so-last-minute shopping. it's saddening to realize that there's a limit as to what you can transfer over to the new habitat. i have to leave behind my favourite piece of shirt, shorts, handbag, and what killed me most - my old pillow!!! :( 


i guess this year marks the beginning of a different future for most of us. have been hearing friends leaving overseas for work and studies, some aren't planning to come back, stories of various flaky interviews, some even started to plan about registering for marriage, those who left somehow had plans on coming back for good whilst others are already deciding on which place they would move to for permanent. and ALL of these are decisions made on their own. 


all of a sudden, i felt that these old friends of mine are all ready to discover their respective new chapters of life. and what am i still stuck with? and even till now, i constantly still have thoughts of us gathering together, gossiping secrets with a bottle of vodka in hand, us fooling around and rolling on the floor over some dead funny jokes. 


i couldn't help but to agree that working life does make a drastic transformation on us, how we speak, what we speak, we start to think ahead and beyond what was laid before us, we make substantial decisions, we finally realize the importance of responsibility, and in fact these are what actually shaped us into (finally) an adult. 


i was often judged as the forgetful and can't be bothered type of person. i MAY BE, since i'm not even sure how old my best friends are (well, at least i remembered your birthdays :O), i can't remember the time of my best friend flights, be it back or leaving kl. but those wonderful days we had, those trips we'd been to, those nights we gossiped under the blankets, those tears we shed, those silly jokes on tvb celebrities, those gambling games which we had won each other's money and yet could still joked about etc. are all still very vivid in my memory.


so much so that i hated separations, these changes are inevitable. we, are no longer the 'we' we used to be. we, at the present as well as the future will start to encompass the new people we met. 


there's just so much to hold back, you couldn't help but learn to let go. perhaps it is also time to start accustoming myself to changes.


time to grow up.