.p.rae.lu.dium.

holy! grant me only 0.01% of his brain, i'd be sailing my way to harvard maths school.

meet the MATHEMAGICIAN!

we happily planned this trip some time ago.

although people joining the trip weren’t as much as the previous trips but it’ll be one of the most anticipated trip of all times. because we are going to REDANG! and yes, this time is no talk-talk only, we’re really into this. so, we frantically browsed through various webpage for infos on accomodation, activities of interest and transport.

all of us were so eager as the date approaches (or is it only me), hell yes, I’m. (I know you do also eh, yeeher).

the plan remained plateau till this week when I was chatting with shui and yh on msn. we talked and talked and talked and finally had an outcome of the conversation. initially decided on redang beach resort, cause yh’s bro had a rather decent review over it. despite the location of the resort (which was rather crowded, as most of the resorts were located along pasir panjang), i agreed to the plan. but to our disappointment, the resort was fully booked on the weekend we chosed. sad :(

then we remedied on Laguna Redang Resort whereby yh was not so happy with because her bro had a not so good review bout it. haha… no choice lah dear, that’s the only above average and available resort. still, one problem, TRANSPORTATION!

my parents were quite negative about me taking midnight bus over to kuala terengganu. hence i had to sort out a solution and decided to board a flight there. then, www.airasia.com and www.malaysiaairlines.com and www.fireflyz.com.my came to mind. yes, they all offer RM0 to RM0.50 air tickets.the day they started the offer, i logged onto the webpage. but i was totally bewildered by the speed at the tickets was sold. the very first morning, ALL, yes, ALL RM0 tickets to kuala terengganu were sold out. what to do, just have to wait for the next offer, if there’s any lah. if not then will have to take bus loh.

then, i happily talked about this wonderful plan to my mom. actually i had already told her about the plan a while ago. all these while, she didn’t utter any objection, but i know that she wasn’t 100% happy about the trip because of my grandpa’s situation. (all my close friends should know about this, need not say more). neither did she disapprove it, she only said if i really wanna go then i can make my own decision and i am mature enough to make the ‘right’ decision at the ‘right time. so i assumed she agreed to it.

after we settled the accomodation issue, i quickly told her about it. HAH! then the grumble invades my super-good feel.

Mom: “actually ar.. you see lah, now your grandpa’s condition so unstable, you shouldn’t planned about this trip loh.
Me: “but ar.. this may be my last trip with my dear friends because after this everyone will leave kl or malaysia. don't be so pessimistic about his condition lah, who knows he’ll recover by june? Rite?
Mom: (started to get angry) “you see his condition like that, you think he’ll recover? what if something happens to him by the time you go for the trip? "
Me: (feeling frustrated and annoyed and augmented my tone) “ aiyah, ok lah ok lah, don’t go then don’t go loh. i’ll just tell them i don’t wanna go lah!”

bringing along my anger, i rushed out of the kitchen and called sm immediately telling her i don’t wanna go already. felt so sad loh, why everytime also like that? why everytime any trip i planned with my friends also there’s somesort of barrier? why cannot shun shun jalan??!! at that moment, i’m really really very very angry with what my mom said. but i was too tired to argue with her because this happens too many times already. i think i was anaesthetized by diappoinments she frequently gave me.

i actually did cry over this small matter. but i know it’s not a small matter. i give in too many times to my mom’s decision. as though throughout my entire life, i am living my life according to her judgement. i am very tired of these. then, i felt asleep after a short grief. HAHA..

i woke up all of a sudden after an hour and i felt enlightened. at the same time, i know this is not gonna work if i just kept quiet. guess what, i did not had a squabble with my mom. contrary to my common behaviour (whereby i just kept quiet the whole day and not talk to her for the days because I dislike arguments and don’t like to make explanations unless I am really very angry), i actually went and apologise to her.

i said “ma, i am so sorry. i did not mean to show off my temper just now. i am so sorry for behaving that way (shed tears while saying this). i was angry because i really wanted to go for this trip. (a lot of reasons slotted in).

i was totally out of words when she said this,
“if you really want to go, then go. i didn’t totally object you also. but if anything happens to ah gong then how?”

i promised her, if it is so, i will immediately cancel the trip. No matter what. i promise.

we ended up smiling happily and foolishly. haha.. at that moment, it’s all beyond words. everything is enough said for i know my mom loves me very much. i love my mom loads too and felt so blessed for having such a mother. i am very contented. and i say this not because she allows me to go for the trip, it’s because my mom is actually a well-reasoned person. i know she cared for me. i know ma. MY MA IS THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD. Muacksss!!!!!!

moral of the story : this made me realised that when you reach a certain stage of your growing up journey, you become more rationale and you started to speak with reasons. although arguments are not the best solutions, but keeping quiet is not the smartest choice to make either. we must learn to speak the right thing at the right time which the outcome will put you into astonishment. like i did! :)

I FELT ...

appalling, awful, dreadful, frightful, ghastly, horrendous, horrible, totally shocked this week.

why is everything so awful??!?!?!?!

i've been receiving news from my STPM friends of excellent results but yet can't get into NUS pharmacy course. where do i stand now? i've been constantly checking the online application facility, or should i say, every single hour? and still no news yet.

still in processing status. i hate to see that word! i'm haunted by the past, and i can't afford to go through that anymore.

i still remember last year's application to NUS had no reply at all. not even a rejection letter. and i felt like SHIT.

and then, came another appalling shock yesterday regarding the wage for my work. crazy, unreachable targets were set. and basic pay were ripped off. for the first time i would so wanna use the word F*** in my blog!!!! i'd never felt so shitty before. NEVER!

oh my, i even asked the help of my friend to replace me for saturday. and in the name of friendship, she agreed and took all the trouble to go for the interview. now i felt double shit! so guilty for pulling her into this. she gave up an initially better offer from another friend of hers to help me out. oh my, i felt so bad typing this now.

this is too much! and because i can't stand it anymore, i've decided to lodge a complain to the company. don't care whether they liked it or not but this is their fault. they never explain the fact to us. eventhough my supervisor said that he will fight for a lower target, but i doubt he'll succed in it. since it's not his money, i really don't think he knows how the promoters felt. not only me, but the other promoters were given a shock of their lifetime. and everyone is feeling very resentful now.

so today i complained to my interviewer and the explanation she gave me was all bullshit. and said that the project i was given (which was KOTEX by the way) was based on sales and incentives, so i can't be given the basic pay she told me during the interview (which was higher). and that it's not fair for the other promoters which are based on booth.

BULLSHIT!!!!! SHE DIDN'T TELL US ANYTHING ABOUT THAT!!!!

and what really cracks my nerves is that she said the ridiculous target (which was RM801 per day for weekdays and RM1069 per day for weekends) set was already 5% lower than market, so it shoud be easy to hit. "SLAP"

if i were told that the product i'm selling is based on incentive system, like what she said, i would NEVER EVER accept the job, never! it's all her fault. she didn't explain to us, not even during the training. if it's only me who heard it, she might have blamed me for hearing her wrongly. but my friend was told the same thing she told me during my interview. and that my friend was thinking the same thing as i do.

no point arguing with her now. if my supervisor can't resolve this matter by this week, i'll just quit! will confront him tomorrow. wish me luck in winning the 'fight'.

never have i been crying so much for a movie for years since the last movie i watched back then when i was still in primary. i still remember that it was a japan cartoon entitled 《再见萤火虫》. it was one of the saddest movie ever watched. was so sad that flashes of the movie scences kept bothering me for few weeks and that i never dare to watch it anymore.

yesterday 8TV showed this Japan movie in conjunction with labour day. it wasn’t as sad as the one aforementioned, but this is definitely a worthwhile to watch. it’s so warm, touching, funny and sweet at the same time. the title? >>>《导盲犬小Q》。

《导》was a movie i would say produced at a low budget as the number of actors or actresses weren’t that much. having said that, a brilliant movie is yet produced. i’ve always wanted to watch this ever since i first saw the VCD because of the very very very cute front cover. basically, all animal lovers, especially dog lovers should watch this.













《导》evolves around a story of an intelligent labrador dog, 小Q (the main character) and its role as a blind man’s guide. the movie began with the birth of 5 very cute labrador puppies, undoubtedly one of them is 小Q. 小Q's original owner wanted to give all 5 of them away for training as blind man’s guide. unfortunately not every bred is accepted as blind man’s guide should have the following characteristics:

a) Think before leap
b) Patience
c) Obedient
d) Not easily distracted by sound
e) Does not bark for no reason.

a brief synopsis about the movie can be found here.

some people might find the movie developing at a slow-paced and felt asleep half way throughout the movie, like my parents do. so, i ended up watching it alone.

小Q was named after the noun ‘quill’, which meant large feather. synonym to its name, 小Q has a feather-liked birthmark near its abdomen area.













the first sad part was when 小Q had to part with its first family; 仁井夫妇 . the sorrow showed in the eyes of 小Q. Whoa man! a natural celebrity dog i must say. you really can feel it.














then the second sad part was when the third owner, the blind man, the another main character, died. and that was when 小Q faces its third separation.















and then comes the most saddening part of the entire movie which is the death of 小Q。MY GOD! I cried like mad loh. it’s just beyond words. i can never put the touch i felt into words. you just have to watch it yourself.

such a simple movie, the message within is so strong. it’s the bond developed between us, humans and our best friend; our pet dog.

your pet dog is always there for you.

it’ll never betray you.

it’ll never go against your will.

it’ll try its best to protect you.

it’ll never leave you, no matter what happens.

it is always there by your side through your hardest times.

it is your life companion.

and that is 小Q。