.p.rae.lu.dium.

we happily planned this trip some time ago.

although people joining the trip weren’t as much as the previous trips but it’ll be one of the most anticipated trip of all times. because we are going to REDANG! and yes, this time is no talk-talk only, we’re really into this. so, we frantically browsed through various webpage for infos on accomodation, activities of interest and transport.

all of us were so eager as the date approaches (or is it only me), hell yes, I’m. (I know you do also eh, yeeher).

the plan remained plateau till this week when I was chatting with shui and yh on msn. we talked and talked and talked and finally had an outcome of the conversation. initially decided on redang beach resort, cause yh’s bro had a rather decent review over it. despite the location of the resort (which was rather crowded, as most of the resorts were located along pasir panjang), i agreed to the plan. but to our disappointment, the resort was fully booked on the weekend we chosed. sad :(

then we remedied on Laguna Redang Resort whereby yh was not so happy with because her bro had a not so good review bout it. haha… no choice lah dear, that’s the only above average and available resort. still, one problem, TRANSPORTATION!

my parents were quite negative about me taking midnight bus over to kuala terengganu. hence i had to sort out a solution and decided to board a flight there. then, www.airasia.com and www.malaysiaairlines.com and www.fireflyz.com.my came to mind. yes, they all offer RM0 to RM0.50 air tickets.the day they started the offer, i logged onto the webpage. but i was totally bewildered by the speed at the tickets was sold. the very first morning, ALL, yes, ALL RM0 tickets to kuala terengganu were sold out. what to do, just have to wait for the next offer, if there’s any lah. if not then will have to take bus loh.

then, i happily talked about this wonderful plan to my mom. actually i had already told her about the plan a while ago. all these while, she didn’t utter any objection, but i know that she wasn’t 100% happy about the trip because of my grandpa’s situation. (all my close friends should know about this, need not say more). neither did she disapprove it, she only said if i really wanna go then i can make my own decision and i am mature enough to make the ‘right’ decision at the ‘right time. so i assumed she agreed to it.

after we settled the accomodation issue, i quickly told her about it. HAH! then the grumble invades my super-good feel.

Mom: “actually ar.. you see lah, now your grandpa’s condition so unstable, you shouldn’t planned about this trip loh.
Me: “but ar.. this may be my last trip with my dear friends because after this everyone will leave kl or malaysia. don't be so pessimistic about his condition lah, who knows he’ll recover by june? Rite?
Mom: (started to get angry) “you see his condition like that, you think he’ll recover? what if something happens to him by the time you go for the trip? "
Me: (feeling frustrated and annoyed and augmented my tone) “ aiyah, ok lah ok lah, don’t go then don’t go loh. i’ll just tell them i don’t wanna go lah!”

bringing along my anger, i rushed out of the kitchen and called sm immediately telling her i don’t wanna go already. felt so sad loh, why everytime also like that? why everytime any trip i planned with my friends also there’s somesort of barrier? why cannot shun shun jalan??!! at that moment, i’m really really very very angry with what my mom said. but i was too tired to argue with her because this happens too many times already. i think i was anaesthetized by diappoinments she frequently gave me.

i actually did cry over this small matter. but i know it’s not a small matter. i give in too many times to my mom’s decision. as though throughout my entire life, i am living my life according to her judgement. i am very tired of these. then, i felt asleep after a short grief. HAHA..

i woke up all of a sudden after an hour and i felt enlightened. at the same time, i know this is not gonna work if i just kept quiet. guess what, i did not had a squabble with my mom. contrary to my common behaviour (whereby i just kept quiet the whole day and not talk to her for the days because I dislike arguments and don’t like to make explanations unless I am really very angry), i actually went and apologise to her.

i said “ma, i am so sorry. i did not mean to show off my temper just now. i am so sorry for behaving that way (shed tears while saying this). i was angry because i really wanted to go for this trip. (a lot of reasons slotted in).

i was totally out of words when she said this,
“if you really want to go, then go. i didn’t totally object you also. but if anything happens to ah gong then how?”

i promised her, if it is so, i will immediately cancel the trip. No matter what. i promise.

we ended up smiling happily and foolishly. haha.. at that moment, it’s all beyond words. everything is enough said for i know my mom loves me very much. i love my mom loads too and felt so blessed for having such a mother. i am very contented. and i say this not because she allows me to go for the trip, it’s because my mom is actually a well-reasoned person. i know she cared for me. i know ma. MY MA IS THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD. Muacksss!!!!!!

moral of the story : this made me realised that when you reach a certain stage of your growing up journey, you become more rationale and you started to speak with reasons. although arguments are not the best solutions, but keeping quiet is not the smartest choice to make either. we must learn to speak the right thing at the right time which the outcome will put you into astonishment. like i did! :)