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please be colder

Posted by peiying Wednesday, December 1, 2010

the cold is indescribable. could still recall when i first arrived here, i used to say any temperature above 10°C is considered hot, a month later i pulled the scale down to 5, and now, it'll (tentatively) be 0. it's just the beginning of winter and locals said things are just going to get worse. never have i thought in my life that  i would live my days witnessing snow, something i can do nothing about but envy watching those flakes in movies.


everything is so real now. when the flakes melt in my hands, i was infested with mixed feelings of both joy and loneliness. joy for this dream has finally come true, but this moment of enjoyment is meant to be shared with people who are dear to me - my close family, my closest friends. 

i see people pouring salt on ice formed along the roads. i see cars fully covered by snow, i see women walking in fancy (construction) boots. all of a sudden these reassured me that winter is finally here. my first winter...

i loved the quiet nights of glasgow, these moments of silence is what i anticipate everyday. put aside my books for a while and key in some thoughts generated at that particular moment. it's so quiet and peaceful that i started to have doubts if what i'm going through now is real.

no words could describe the bitter i'm enduring now. everyday i'll have to bid goodbye to infinity dead cells from my fingers, i could barely utter a word steadily without my jaws trembling once i exit from my apartment. irony is, sore throat develops and the extreme weather gives me headache. but what was amazing was that, my brain wasn't frozen during the class test. god blessed :D

this is when i start to question myself is this all worth it? 





2 comment:

鬼子 said...

nice one~ u'll find its all worth it when you received the scroll!!!

peiying said...

sing lei guai yin :O
hopefully i could survive winter before that day.. haha :D